


Parents Find Out

by parkersweasley



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Zendaya (Musician)
Genre: Comedy, Cute, Embarrassment, F/M, Inspired by That '70s Show, One Shot, Oops, Post-Spider-Man: Far From Home, Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Short One Shot, Teen Peter Parker, chaotic - Freeform, peter and mj are caught by the cops, what could go wrong?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:07:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21982714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parkersweasley/pseuds/parkersweasley
Summary: inspired by episode 19 of the second season of that 70s show, Peter and MJ just had sex in his car -- until the cops catch them on the act. after taking them to Peter's apartment, they have to find an excuse to tell May and Happy in order to hide the fact that they've had sex.aka peter and mj lie to get out of an embarrassing situation.
Relationships: Happy Hogan & Peter Parker, Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), Michelle Jones & May Parker (Spider-Man), Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Kudos: 15





	Parents Find Out

**Author's Note:**

> hey everyone! :D idk if anyone watches that 70s show, but there's an episode where eric and donna have sex in his car and then get caught by the cops. i just rewatched that recently, and i thought i'd make a one shot that recreates that episode, but with peter and mj! 
> 
> lol i don't really know where this is going to be honest, but i just hope i get everything right. 
> 
> just a warning......this is a recreation of the episode, so EVERY LINE will be the same. kinda lazy, i know, but i can find scripts of it everywhere and just copy from there. hope i don't get sued oops

* * *

_**oh my god, it's the cops!** _

_**eric, we're completely naked!** _

* * *

When they're together, Peter and Michelle forget about the world around them and think they're the only people in the world. Just like in this moment, in the backseat of Peter's 2008 Honda Civic, about to have their first car sex. 

“Hurry up,” MJ says. “I don’t want anyone to see us.”

”It’s kind of hard to get a condom when I have a gigantic blanket covering my naked body!” Peter complains.

“Well, guess what,” Michelle says, “no glove, no love.”

Peter huffs. “Aha! I caught it.”

Before putting it on, Peter brings their lips together for a tender kiss. 

And right at that moment, one blue and red light starts to shine on the car.

Michelle, being the observant soul that she is, notices it immediately. 

“Peter,” she says while kissing him. “Peter!”

”MJ, this is a tricky maneuver, okay? I need quiet.” 

While Peter tries getting his strawberry condom on, a knock comes from the window and a flashlight also shines. 

Looking over, Peter’s eyes get wide. “Oh my God, it’s the cops!” 

MJ grunts. “Peter, we’re completely naked!”

“Uh...don’t panic, I-I have a plan,” turning to the window, Peter clears his throat and yells: “Go away!” 

“That’s the plan? That is not a good plan!” MJ rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, no, that’s the plan. I mean, we’re totally naked, I think he’ll probably just go away,” he says.

_I thought you were smarter than that, Parker._

The officer knocks on the window, hard, which only makes Peter more scared. 

“Crap, have you seen my pants?” He says with a look of defeat. 

* * *

Knocking on the door of May’s apartment, May opens the door and MJ and Peter are standing there with their clothes rumbled, messy hair and an officer by their side. 

"Oh...my god!" May panics. 

“Oh, holy hell,” Happy puts his newspaper down and says from inside the apartment. 

"Hey, May. Hi, Happy," Peter says, ashamed. 

* * *

"An-and the heater is broken in the Civic, that's why it was so hot. So, uh, naturally, we removed one or two articles of clothing, which, you know, in retrospect was probably not a good idea," Peter chuckles nervously. 

"Peter, how stupid do you think I am?" Happy asks in an angry tone. 

He sighs. "You're right, should've cracked a window, good thinking."

"Peter, we know what you were doing in the car." 

"No, we don't _know_ ," May jumps in. 

"Trust me, we know," Happy retorts. 

"No, no, we don't _know_ ," May shakes her head in denial. 

"I know, I know!" Betty Brant, Peter's cousin, speaks up. 

"Of course you know, you...majored in it," Peter claps back. 

"What were you thinking?" Happy fixes his gaze on him. 

"Um, Mr. Hogan, it was my idea too," Michelle says. "So, um, please stop yelling at Peter? Because..."

"WHAT?" Happy yells at her.

"Just play dead and cover your face," Peter tells MJ. 

"No, Peter, it's okay. What we did was a choice that we made. A choice we made as adults."

"Oh, really? You're an adult?" Happy asks. 

"Don't answer, it's a trap!" Peter yelps frantically. 

MJ just ignores him. "Yes. We're adults." 

"Okay, MJ. Then as an adult, I expect you to go downstairs and tell Fred and Nicky just exactly what happened tonight," Happy tells her. 

"Okay. I'll tell them," MJ lies, but keeps her posture. 

"Good. And I'm gonna check that you did," Happy says. 

"Oh, come on, why would you do that?" Michelle whines, losing her stoic expression. 

"MJ, I won't keep something like this from your parents. They think we're friends," he retorts. 

* * *

"Okay, MJ, I've given this a lot of thought, and I think I should be the one to tell your parents we had sex," Peter says while they're in his room, him standing on his window and MJ sitting on his bed. 

She suddenly perks up. "Oh my god, Peter, that is so great! Thank you!"

He suddenly gets frazzled. "What? No, no! What? No! It was a bluff, I was bluffing, to seem nice?! Oh, crap, this is a nightmare..."

She's frustrated. "Fine, I'll do it myself." 

"What? No, wait!" He says before she leaves his room. "Look, we told my 'parents' together, so...hey, let's tell your parents together!"

"Thank you. So, do you wanna get it over with?" She starts moving towards the door. 

"Yeah, let's go tell your parents," he says but his feet don't move off his window. 

She looks back at him, already _so done_ with him. 

"Okay, MJ, I want to go with you, but...my legs have gone numb," he says in a trembling voice.

* * *

"So, what do you kids need to tell us?" Michelle's dad, Fred, asks them. 

"I tried to guess but my mind is a total blank!" Nicky, Michelle's mother, exclaims. 

"Actually...Mrs. Jones, Mr. Jones...it's something _I_ need to tell you."

There's a pause. A really long, painfully draining pause. 

"Sorry, I almost threw up. I'm fine now," Peter says and tries to start again. "Um...you both know how much I respect your daughter, how much I love your daughter...and um, funny thing about love, _haha,_ is that sometimes...we like to express it in a physical way."

"You better not say what I think you're gonna say. Because I'll be mad," Mr. Jones threatens. "And funny thing about mad... _haha..._ is that I also like to express it in a physical way."

"I love your daughter and I totally respect her, and I never stopped respecting her...even when the cops came," Peter says that last sentence praying he doesn't get beat up. 

Silence. So cold, so _threatening_. 

"Well, I'm sorry, Peter. But I still gotta twist your neck shut," Fred says and puts his hands in fists at his side. 

Before he does anything, Michelle speaks up. "Dad! You know, you shouldn't be threatening Peter. You should be, uh, thanking him."

"What?!" Her father exclaims. 

"Wow!" Nicole, her mom, sighs out. 

"He's treated me like a queen ever since we started dating," MJ continues. "Peter and I have sex. There. You know. At least I have a nice boyfriend and not some juvenile delinquent." 

"Like that Harry," Nicole snaps, mentioning Michelle's last relationship.

They all ignore her. "And at least he had the courage to come here and tell you man-to-man."

Her mom gets up from the dinner table and walks over to them. "Well, I'm happy for you. And thank you for being honest. That took a lot of courage, didn't it, Fred?" Nicole asks her husband while rubbing his back.

"I'm going to bed," is all he says.

Fred leaves and Nicole, Peter, and Michelle stay in the living room. 

"So...how was it?" Nicole asks. 

"Oh my god, mom! God!" 

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys enjoyed this one shot!! kudos are always helpful :) happy new year!!


End file.
